Today was hard. I know we all expected it to be this way, yet I think the helplessness we all felt at times surprised even the strongest of us. Here we were present and strong with willing hands and open heart ready to serve. But yet we felt unprepared for knowing the best way to serve at times today...as well as what kind of impact we could all make surrounded by just a fraction of the broken and sick babies that we visited today.
"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” - Mother Teresa
Our day started with time at the Home For Sick and Dying Babies. We arrived to a line outside the gate filled with mother’s and sick babies in their arms. The sun was so hot at only 9am while these mother’s held their babies with no protection from the heat as they waited. We were ushered inside and the courtyards and rooms were filled with families. It was visiting hours, so many parents and grandparents were there to visit, hold, and comfort their children. It felt good to see so many children attended to. But yet there were still many alone in their cribs - some on IV drips, some crying and needing to be changed, and all wanting some love.
Love.
This was our job here. To love on these children. We rocked, and sang, and fed, and changed, and talked to and comforted these sweet babies. As a mother, and remembering my children as babies - the natural instincts of the most basic needs kicked in..and the first of these is to love. And I've never held babies before who were so willing to receive anything we could give them. There are no strangers in their short, tiny, meaningful, beautiful lives. This gave comfort to all.
And their tears and cries were for us when we had to leave. Those babies imprinted on my soul forever.
Based upon the name of where we were visiting - I expected to see so much sadness. Instead I saw hope. I saw a full staff of beautiful people, a facility that was clean and welcoming, a playground and a place for parents to visit, food, clean diapers, warm water, milk, ...and love. So much hope surrounded us and the babies here. There are so many good things and beautiful children here.
Yet we still rode to our next stop mainly in silence - as we prayed and thought about the little ones we left behind. Will they go home soon? Will their parents visit tomorrow? Will they at least sleep well for tonight in this safe and loving place for them. And will the mother's at the gate tomorrow also get the help they need for their babies?
At this point most of us were still unaware of the juxtaposition of circumstance in front of us.
I'm not sure I can even fully talk about our visit to General Hospital at this point. Maybe not ever. It was hard. So many of us felt hopeless. Confused. Useless. Taking up space. Not praying for the right things. So many children in the emergency room. Sick. Dying. Gone already too soon. Beds everywhere with very little space between and mother's changing diapers on their laps, cribs surrounded by family, grandmother's singing to tiny, feverish babies. We did what we felt moved to - a broken conversation, a song, holding a hand, smiling at a baby. We handed out care packages to everyone - soap, a washcloth, brush, toothbrush and paste, applesauce, and diapers. And we watched so many children enjoying the snack and getting a 'bath' with the cloth. A simple gesture. But they need so much more. So much that none of us can give. Expensive medicines, money, food, more diapers, a cure, some hope, a better place, a way to heal. I felt broken leaving there. Wishing for so much more.
I think we all have to come to the point that we don't have all of the answers to the 'whys' in the world. But we do things through simple steps that can become big strides when many come together on a mission to serve, learn, spread the word, and teach. That even comforting one child today who needed our love. One child that snuggled into our chests, closed their eyes, and took a nap in our arms. We have to know that is a touch that counts and will last for more than just an afternoon.
We have to know that.
We ended our day by getting schooled in soccer by the boys in the neighborhood. They were kind and let me actually kick the ball twice or so before stealing it from us each time. What amazing and talented young men. I think we've challenged them to a rematch on Saturday. We better practice a bit before then.
"We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop." - Mother Teresa
With Blessings,
Tracy
I cannot even imagine what it is like to be there to see and experience all that you are. I am sure there are countless emotions, many of them hard. But you are doing something important, even in those fleeting minutes with the children, but also by being able to spread the message to the rest of us about what is still happening there, and that there is still so much more that can be done. Thank you for sharing what must be difficult to put into words.
ReplyDeleteTo come from a place where we have never known such need, and then encounter people with so little who would give so much of themselves if able .... thinking of you and the lives you are touching this week xxxx
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing, Tracy. You are doing such good things.
ReplyDelete